Hearings voices. This article delves into Kay’s decade-long journey through the inexplicable world of spiritual voice-hearing, highlighting the challenges, experiences, and questions that have arisen along the way. “I eventually learned to resist its influence.”
In 2014, during my attendance at the West Africa Faith Believers Convention (WAFBEC), an annual event hosted by the Covenant Christian Centre at the National Stadium in Surulere, Lagos, Nigeria, I found himself entangled in a mysterious and peculiar spiritual voice-hearing encounter.
Picture this: as I immersed myself in the spiritual atmosphere of the conference, an extraordinary phenomenon unfolded. A constant spiritual voice began to descend upon my head, exerting immense pressure and subjecting me to continuous torment. This was no ordinary experience; it left me perpetually bewildered, and frustrated, ensnared in a web of confusion, hallucinations, speaking upfront and deception.
Spiritual Voice-Hearing
This relentless voice took on the role of a mischievous puppeteer, compelling me to move about the conference, sharing messages and commanding people for healing because I was told I was the Angel in the Faith Conference which I genuinely believed was divine from God. Little did I realize that I was merely a pawn in a cosmic game, unwittingly serving as a source of frustration, and reproach, and even landing myself in predicaments.
Perplexing Episodes
One particularly memorable episode involved a divine command to engage in a prayer of agreement with a married woman which I was told needed healing. However, the woman happened to be a pastor’s wife who wasn’t accustomed to joining hands in prayer with other men according to her belief which the guy in the same Conference Protocol Department as her told me. When I extended my hand in prayer, believing it to be a sacred act, it resulted in an embarrassing and awkward situation that left the pastor’s wife flustered. I later realized the spirit knew ahead that the woman doesn’t join hands with another man. It was just to reproach and mislead me.
Another peculiar instance unfolded during the conference when we were told to join hands in prayer agreement with someone beside us, I was prompted by the voice not to join hands with a woman seated beside me. According to this supernatural voice, the woman was allegedly possessed by an evil spirit. Without hesitation, I severed the connection immediately.
The voice didn’t stop there; it urged me to monitor this lady closely as she stepped out to take a phone call. The voice asserted that she harboured sinister intentions within the faith conference, and I was tasked with preventing her from succeeding, all under the curious guise of being “the angel in the Faith Conference on that day.” Unsurprisingly, the lady grew increasingly irritated by my persistent presence and eventually reported my unusual behaviour to the conference’s security personnel.
The Torment Intensifies
This bewildering and at times bewilderingly humorous spiritual voice experience persisted, gradually transforming into a disharmony that echoed both within me and from external sources. I found myself subjected to an unrelenting and inexplicable form of torture as if I were trapped, squeezed, pressed, or held captive within my own body. The distress extended to my very head, freezing and tormenting voice speaking into my brain.
While the voice remained a constant companion, I eventually learned to resist its influence. I no longer blindly followed its directives, recognizing that it was merely used to frustrate and torment me. Though it continues to taunt and distress me, I’ve acquired the ability to manage it, refusing to heed its misleading calls. Intriguingly, this voice progressed from being an external presence to manifesting internally, adding yet another layer of complexity to this extraordinary experience.
The Search for Help
Despite my persistent efforts, all attempts to get the Senior Pastor’s attention have been fruitless. I have reached out through various means, including sending emails, leaving letters at the Church office, and even approaching him during midweek services. However, his response has consistently been to request an email for appointment booking, which I promptly did, yet received no reply.
In my search for assistance, I encountered an usher who had undergone a similar experience. I sought his guidance on the most effective way to bring my unusual spiritual encounter to the Senior Pastor’s attention. He directed me to one of the church leaders who prayed with me, but unfortunately, the strange spiritual experience persisted.
Spiritual voice-hearing: Desperation
Desperate for a solution, I found myself taken to the village on two occasions and even sought medical consultation at Yaba Psychiatric. To my surprise, the doctor did not believe that my voice hearing was a medical issue, yet she suggested treatment for schizophrenia. In my pursuit of deliverance, as people suggested, I attempted Redemption Camp and eventually moved to MFM based on recommendations, but the strange spiritual experience continued unabated.
This same Spirit has held me in a form of bondage, preventing me from speaking freely. Whenever I attempt to explain my experiences to someone who might offer assistance, this Spirit appears to freeze my brain, erase memories, and render me unable to articulate my thoughts. At times, it even disrupts my hearing during conversations, forcing me to request that others repeat their words. This is why I’m currently endeavoring to document the fragments of my recollections. I anticipate providing more comprehensive details once I have fully recovered from this situation.
Soji D’s Unwavering Belief
In my quest to understand what was happening to me, I encountered the late Soji D. who was struggling with identical spiritual challenges within the same Church. What astounded me most was his unwavering belief that this voice experience was of divine origin, specifically from the Holy Spirit. He remained resolute in his conviction, even before his passing, and continued to assert that the voice he heard originated from the Holy Spirit.
He shared this belief openly with individuals close to him, such as Dr. Christy O. her younger brother, and his family members. Their reactions ranged from scepticism to weariness, yet I was convinced of the authenticity of his claims, despite the inherent difficulty in believing such assertions.
I feel it is imperative to seek the relevant authorities to investigate the circumstances surrounding the passing of the late Soji D. to prevent the future occurrence of exonerated death of people in faith and to corroborate my statements.
A Glimpse into Soji D’s Shared Struggles
Late Soji D. departed in January 2021, having experienced the same spiritual occurrences that commenced during the same period, at the same venue, and within the same Church. I was introduced to him through Dr. Christy when I reported my experiences to her and Pastor Ike during a Church Evangelism session. Dr. Christy told me that I needed to connect with someone undergoing similar spiritual challenges, and this disclosure brought me relief as I realized I was not alone in facing this perilous situation.
During my initial interactions with Soji D. I inquired about his experiences with this spiritual phenomenon. I was curious to know what steps he had taken to address his spiritual encounters and whether the divine messages he received from God before and while struggling with voice hearing had come to fruition. It soon became apparent that many individuals, including Soji D. himself, had initially perceived these voices as divine messages from God while struggling with Voice-hearing, unaware that they were being used to incite frustration and tormenting due to perceived revelations falling short of fulfilment.
Residing together
Our interactions led to a period where we resided together for a year, during which I closely monitored the manifestations of his peculiar voice-hearing experiences. These experiences frequently compelled him to undertake divine commands in his neighborhood, resulting in various troubles. One instance involved a pregnant woman he felt compelled to approach at an ATM stand in Bariga, Lagos.
He believed he was guided by the Holy Spirit to lay his hands on her abdomen and offer a prayer. However, the woman reacted with anger and accused him of attempting to harm her pregnancy through African Juju. Consequently, she reported him to the police, resulting in a brief detention. After conducting a medical examination on the pregnant woman, the police confirmed the safety of her baby and promised to release Soji D. based on my explanation that he was under the influence of a spiritual voice that frequently led him into troublesome situations.
Upon his release, I visited him and asked why he had acted as he did. I conveyed my belief that such actions were not following faith. In response, he explained that he was merely following the guidance of the Holy Spirit, even though nobody seemed willing to believe him. This pattern persisted throughout his struggle with his voice hearing. He consistently maintained that the voice he heard was divine from the Holy Spirit, a sentiment he shared with everyone close to him until his passing. I recall our final conversation during his last meeting with Dr. Christy in her office at Unilag.
“No one believes me”
He excused himself to take a stroll around the Campus, and I joined him for company. During our walk, he revealed that he had realized the importance of not remaining seated for prolonged periods due to the pressing and entrapping sensations he experienced within himself. He further emphasized that he could not afford to stay in one position for too long. Looking into my eyes, he said, “I have informed everyone that my spiritual voice originates from the Holy Spirit, although it seems no one believes me. But I know that you do, I have taken my fate.” He then began to describe his recent experiences, detailing the sensations within his head and body.
During one such episode, he confided in me that he heard a constant voice emanating from the wall of his room, a voice that consistently tormented him and accused him that he missed it with his Pastor and the Holy Spirit. Troubled by this, I inquired about what he might have done wrong. At that moment, it became apparent to me that he was ensnared by God.
He shared with me an account of an incident involving a woman from church who approached him, requesting his participation in prayer, claiming that God had revealed to her that she was the pastor’s wife. However, the pastor saw them together and admonished Soji D. not to associate with the woman any further. Soji D. complied immediately but wrestled with guilt over the incident.
A desire to commit suicide
I attempted to console him, assuring him that he had committed no wrongdoing. He confided in me, expressing a desire to commit suicide by jumping into a river and ending his life due to the unbearable frustration and torment he was experiencing from the wall of his room. I knew it was from God because I received similar torment and warnings from the very wall in his room as I observed his voice-hearing experience. The voice threatened to deal mercilessly with me if I revealed its presence to anyone.
Not more than six months after aforementioned stroll, I received the distressing news of his passing. I vividly recall the overwhelming constant threat and torment that I received upon hearing of his death. If I told anyone what I knew I would dealt with mercilessly.
Refraining from disclosure
Despite the voice threatening me, I refrained from disclosing this knowledge to him or anyone else until today. I was aware that the voice emanating from the wall was of divine origin because I had a similar experience with the wall in my room. This voice tormented and threatened me, insisting that I should speak out and acknowledge it as the Holy Spirit and miss it with God.
I felt a deep sense of frustration during that period and sought ways to distance myself from the Holy Spirit, as it seemed to be responsible for the turmoil surrounding me. My understanding of the scriptures warned against grieving the Spirit of God but I was ready for that at that moment, which I thought might lead to my release from the torment and torture I was enduring. Consequently, I remained silent, bearing the burden in solitude.
Another instance of strange spiritual voice-hearing occurred in the life of the late Soji D. He received a message that a man living near his elder brother’s house, someone he believed to be a wizard, required confrontation. Soji D. known for his fervent faith, approached this individual, resulting in a physical altercation and combat between them. I had a similar experience through a dream. It revealed a woman residing on the upper floor of my building to me being a witch responsible for my spiritual attack.
My dad just smiled at me
I told the witch story to my late Dad but he just smiled at me. At that time, I genuinely believed this message, driven by a diminished capacity to question its validity. I embarked on intense prayer and contemplated confronting the woman with this revelation. However, upon hearing Soji D.’s experience and the consequences of his actions, I refrained from pursuing this course of action and I knew the dream was just destined to get me in problems with the woman and her children.
These messages, which we receive through various channels of divine communication from God, including dreams, visions, inner voices, and outside hearing, often mislead us. As a result, I decided to discontinue my reliance on hearing from God due to frustration, torment, and misinformation.
A Battle Against Deception
In one particular incident, I had a vision of a man in a corporate setting, compelling me to seek an appointment with this unknown individual at the Nigeria Port Authority in Apapa, Lagos. I embarked on this mission without prior appointment, visiting numerous offices within the NPA building in search of the person from my vision. It wasn’t until later that I questioned the validity of my actions and realized I had been misled through this vision. I returned home, frustrated by the traffic, and recognized that I had once again fallen victim to the deceptive nature of these experiences.
Furthermore, I visited the Senior Pastor’s former church office at Jibowu, Lagos early one morning based on an inner voice I heard while praying. The voice had indicated that I had a 7 a.m. appointment with the Snr. Pastor. Despite arriving at the office before any staff members, I was met by a huge light-skinned security guard who inquired about my appointment.
I hadn’t disclosed the true reason for my visit, which was related to my strange spiritual voice-hearing experiences. Instead, he provided me with the Senior Pastor’s email address to schedule an appointment. However, my emails received no response. This series of events led me to stop relying on various channels of divine communication from God. Those close to me are aware that I no longer pay heed to dreams or visions, even when prompted by pastors to do so. I’ve adopted a stance of personal discernment.
Disheartened and fatigued
Presently, I find myself disheartened and fatigued by my unchanging situation. The Senior Pastor’s apparent neglect mirrors the neglect experienced by the late Soji D. and his family. Soji D. battled the same voice-hearing affliction for seven years until his unfortunate passing in January 2021. Despite his family’s numerous attempts to reach the Senior Pastor, their efforts yielded no results. I fear that I may meet a similar fate if urgent action is not taken.
I am compelled to hold the Senior Pastor accountable and implore him to address this matter promptly. I believe that this ordeal has its origins within his Church, and I even suspect the Holy Spirit which I was baptized and received from his Church, considering my personal experience and the shared trials of the late Soji D. within the same Church.
A Call for Deeper Understanding
Based on my observations, it appears that God may be utilizing this phenomenon of voice-hearing to frustrate and torment individuals of faith, possibly as a response to perceived revelations falling short of fulfilment. Numerous individuals I have spoken to who have encountered similar spiritual challenges within various churches share a common grievance: a failure of divine revelations to manifest as expected. I can attest to this shared frustration.
A Fresh perspective is urgently needed
In the light of these perplexing occurrences, I believe it is crucial to re-evaluate our understanding of Voice-hearing issues and to explore potential causes and solutions beyond the conventional beliefs held within the African Church community. The world is increasingly engaging with and seeking answers to the enigmatic phenomenon of voice-hearing, prompting us to look beyond our customary beliefs for deeper insights.
Furthermore, I believe it’s time for us to pose some critical questions. Why is this spiritual phenomenon more prevalent among individuals of faith, if not directly linked to their faith? Why do we seldom hear of these spiritual challenges among individuals from other religious backgrounds residing in the same communities as us? Additionally, I feel compelled to convey to the Church that I am no longer in comfort with the presence of the Holy Spirit within me, especially since the passing of the late Soji D. I suspect that his demise may have resulted from constant frustration and complaints about the Holy Spirit.
Moreover, I have silently endured this agonizing bondage for a decade, suffering in solitude, and I feel my life gradually slipping away. Throughout this ordeal, I have lost not only my beloved late father but also everything else.
I acknowledge that within the African church context, such experiences are typically attributed to spiritual attacks, ancestral spirits, or foundational problems. However, I believe it is high time we approached this issue with a fresh perspective, making sense of the voice and looking beyond our conventional beliefs in Africa to explore alternative explanations for voice hearing beyond our customary understanding. The world is evolving, and we must consider different perspectives on this profoundly controversial condition.
An arduous journey
In conclusion, my journey through the perplexing world of spiritual voice hearing has been arduous. It has led me to question conventional beliefs and seek alternative explanations. I hope that sharing this story will shed light on a little-discussed aspect of spiritual voice-hearing experiences and encourage a broader exploration of this phenomenon in the context of faith.
Do you think my spiritual Voice-hearing is from divine origin?
Thanks for your contribution.
KAY OLUSOLA (Whatsapp+Tel: +2348026952498, +2348167475579) is a certified Microsoft IT Instructor, Linkedin Content Creator and a decade-long survivor of voice-hearing. He is telling his story in order to help others navigating through the uncertain times.
Image credits: Kay Olusola
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Hi Jim, Thank you so much for taking your time to read and engage with my journey through spiritual voice-hearing. Your thoughtful and insightful comment truly resonates with me on many levels.
I deeply appreciate your acknowledgment of the complexity and depth of my experiences. I’m grateful for your reference to the spiritual crisis network and i will check them out.
Thanks once again Jim
Hi Kay, thanks for sharing. Your journey through the world of spiritual voice-hearing is both moving and complex. It’s clear that you’ve navigated through a maze of experiences, each more bewildering than the last, in search of understanding and relief. The narrative you’ve shared not only highlights the personal struggle and resilience in the face of such an enigmatic phenomenon but also opens up broader questions about the nature of spiritual experiences and their interpretation within the context of faith.
The experiences you’ve described, from the initial encounters at the conference to the ongoing challenges and questions that arose, speak to a deeply personal and, in many ways, isolating journey. The fact that you’ve learned to resist the influence of the voice over time suggests a remarkable adaptability and strength of spirit.
The broader implications of your story, particularly the shared experiences with late Soji D. and the consistent yet unaddressed pleas for understanding and support from your faith community, underscore a need for a more nuanced approach to spiritual phenomena within religious contexts. It’s evident that there is a profound gap between personal experiences of the divine and the institutional frameworks designed to interpret and support them.
In considering the origin of your voice-hearing, it’s important to acknowledge the complexity of spiritual experiences. They can be deeply personal and subjective, making it challenging to categorize them definitively as divine or otherwise. The nature of such experiences often defies simple explanations, residing instead in the interplay between faith, personal psychology, and the broader mysteries of the spiritual realm.
Your story is a powerful reminder of the need for compassion, understanding, and open dialogue within faith communities regarding spiritual experiences that fall outside conventional norms. It calls for a deeper exploration of the spiritual voice-hearing phenomenon, with an openness to the myriad ways the divine can manifest in individual lives.
In sharing your journey, you’re contributing to a broader conversation about the diversity of spiritual experiences and the importance of providing supportive and open-minded communities for those who navigate such complex terrains. It’s a conversation that is as crucial as it is overdue.
Do you know the spiritual crisis network? According to them, a spiritual crisis, often called spiritual emergency, awakening or psycho-spiritual crisis, is a turbulent period of psychological opening and transformation.
https://spiritualcrisisnetwork.uk/
Greetz Jim van Os