My iPhone has a function that automatically recognizes people. According to this function, I am in fact two persons: the one before reducing my medication, and the other one after.

During the period that my medical file defines as ‘obesity’, I was a walking pill box. Mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, tranquillizers, antidepressants… And that’s not even the end of the list.

I needed one pill to stop the side effects from the other pill. The lithium hindered the functioning of my thyroid, for example, which required yet another medicine.

I was completely flattened out, fat, and deeply unhappy. Someone could have dropped dead right next to me without me even blinking

Before I went on medication, my body weight was around 63 kilos. The meds increased that up to 102.5 kilos at my heaviest point.

As far as body weight was concerned, I could always consider myself lucky. Coupled with my fairly healthy diet habits, I could afford eating a bag of crisps or downing a pack of cookies once and then. I exercised regularly as well, but more out of fun than for health reasons.

When I went on antipsychotics for the first time, I was hungry all the time. I could eat three plates of spaghetti and still feel unsatisfied. And so I quickly gained 10 kilos. I was still working back then, and my colleagues started congratulating me on my pregnancy.

I stopped taking these medicines and within a month I was back on my regular weight. But unfortunately, my mental issues and vulnerabilities also started acting up again.

During another admission, I was put back on a different type of antipsychotics. This type did not increase my appetite, but I had not forgotten my weight gain from the last time. And so I kept a close eye on my diet and exercised a lot. Which did not help…

More and more pills were added to the mix, and I was gaining more and more weight

I nearly turned into a nutrition expert, ignoring all the dietary hypes, but focusing on the scientific knowledge. Meanwhile, my friends provided well-meant advice. Psychiatrists and nurses commented on my obesity.

And not always in a polite manner. Like the time when a housing supervisor found an empty chocolate dessert package and immediately started berating me. A good friend of mine had come over for dinner and I got it for her. I remember how I stood there with tears in my eyes from shame. “It is because of the meds…” I responded. But nobody believed that.

I took myself to a dietitian, who halved the little bit of carbohydrates that I still consumed and taught me to count every calorie. I took that way too far and cut that half in two again myself.

That stopped about two years ago. I was allowed to reduce my medication under guidance, got another, more modern antipsychotic and lost about thirty kilos in a few months.

Suddenly people started asking me whether I was eating enough. I had lost all pleasure in eating and now have spent the last two years rediscovering what I actually like. Crisps are not my taste, but I love fruit and vegetables and have a weak spot for chocolate. Milk chocolate, and not the more healthy pure form.

I meet and hear about so many other people struggling with similar appetite and weight effects of their medication.

Many other medicine users develop obesity. Along with all the negative consequences. Obesity is, literally and figuratively, a heavy burden. Keeping track of your diet, counting calories, exercising, all coupled with lots of frustration and sadness…

It won’t hurt to keep track of everything you eat and drink for a month, for example with the help of a nutritional app. This can give you insights into what you are lacking or over-consuming.

Watch carefully what you drink as well. The well-known antipsychotic side effect of a dry mouth easily quenched with a large glass of coke, but better alternatives are water, black coffee or tea without sugar (also avoid light sodas). And naturally, getting sufficient exercise also helps. Take the bicycle, walk regularly, subscribe for the local gym. More and more initiatives from mental healthcare services or other local provisions allow you to join in for free or at a discount.

Are you also struggling with more appetite and weight gain? Then go talk about it with your psychiatrist, possibly supported by the info from your dietary app.

Discuss if you can perhaps get a lower dosage of medication, switch to another type, or gradually quit altogether.

Obesity is not healthy, but neither should you starve yourself with a strict diet

I am also writing this blog to myself. Recently, I regained a bit of weight and now I notice that I am again counting calories obsessively. Despite exercising so much that I am burning a daily 1000 calories more than I am consuming, the extra pounds won’t go away.

And so I have also talked with my psychiatrist, and now I’m very slowly tapering down my antipsychotics.

Perhaps I should treat myself on an ice cream, with disco topping. It is Summer, after all.

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Sophie (alias).

More information:

• How I manage weight gain on antipsychotic medication – Video on experience expert channel Living Well With Schizophrenia